I live in LA and am currently spending the summer in Honolulu–the #1 and #2 cities for the worst traffic in America. As such, I spend a fair amount of time in my car on congested freeways and thoroughfares. Listening to the radio is perhaps the default activity for people who spend much of their time commuting–besides swearing at stupid reckless drivers (*coughcough LA DRIVERS*) and wishing you would die. And at least for me, I tend to spend a lot of that time tuning into the local radio having certain thoughts and developing certain opinions about the radio. And so I thought I would share those.
- Radio in LA is probably among the best in the country. Perhaps this is the city’s way of making it up to the poor Angelenos who basically spend half their lives stuck in traffic. There are tons of options, and I can almost always find something I like if I’m scanning through the stations. I LOVE the Spanish/Latino stations (they play some of the best EDM remixes for some reason), and catching Perez Hilton on Carson Daly’s morning radio show is admittedly a guilty pleasure of mine.
- Radio in Hawaii is probably among the worst in the country. I’m just waiting for that day, probably not too far in the future, where I’ll switch to three different stations and hear the same song playing on all three of them at the same time (although I have recently switched to two stations that were playing one song at the same time, then immediately to two OTHER stations playing ANOTHER song at the same time. Does two pair beat a triple in poker? If so, this is a game that Hawaii radio has unfortunately won).
- That being said, it is nice to go home and have a handful of Hawaiian and reggae radio stations to switch it up between until I get tired of that genre of music. Which doesn’t normally take very long. For that reason I’m glad my trips home are usually pretty short.
- Ok. There is actually this morning radio segment on one of the Hawaii pop radio stations that makes me LOL every time. So a person calls in (always a female so far), and she has 60 seconds to make a booty call to her dude (so far, I’ve only heard heterosexual booty calls) and get him to agree to meet up with her. Only she has to use some random ridiculous word or phrase that the DJs give her, usually related to some movie currently out in theaters or a concert happening soon. The guys are typically on their way to work when they get the call, and they are uber confused when their girlfriends are all like, “Hey babe, wanna come over? I wanna play with your butler” or “If you meet me right now, I’ll show you my Selena Gomez.” But the best part is: they always agree to come over. ALWAYS. And it. Is. Hilarious.
- So maybe Hawaii radio isn’t the worst. It’s still pretty bad though.
- Of the current let’splaythissomanytimespeoplewilleventuallyvolunteertheirfirstbornchildstomakeitstop radio hits of the summer, I definitely prefer Get Lucky to Blurred Lines. In fact, I never really liked Blurred Lines much from the start (even before watching the silly uncensored version of the Robin Thicke video). But I really think the lyrics of the first line of the chorus should be: “We’ve come too far/ to devolve who we are” (as I thought they were before I Googled the lyrics and saw that the correct words were “give up”). Because even though “devolve” isn’t actually the opposite of “evolve” like you’d think it would be, it makes sense that if we’ve come too far to devolve who we are (imaginary definition), we’d want to raise the bar. Like do better, move on forward, EVOLVE. Right? And I guess raise our cups to the stars, too.
Radio is so not dead.